Rukhsati is the bride's formal farewell from her family at a Muslim wedding. After the nikkah and the baraat celebrations, she leaves with her husband and his family for her new home. For many families it is the most emotional few minutes of the whole wedding.
In Urdu it is written رخصتی, meaning departure or sending off. Say it "rukh-SUT-ee".
Which traditions use it
Rukhsati is the usual term at Pakistani, Indian and Bangladeshi Muslim weddings. It is a cultural custom rather than a religious rite. The BBC's guide to Muslim weddings notes that many wedding customs "are a matter of culture and not of Islam".
Other traditions mark the same moment with their own words. At Hindu weddings it is the vidaai. At Sikh and Punjabi weddings it is often called the doli.
When it happens
Usually at the end of the baraat day, after the meal and photographs. The bride says goodbye to her parents and relatives and walks to the car. In some families a brother or close relative holds the Qur'an over her head as she leaves, as a blessing. Practice varies by family and region.
The nikkah and the rukhsati do not have to be on the same day. The BBC guide notes that a marriage contract may be signed without the couple "intending to live with the spouse straight away". Some couples hold the nikkah months earlier, then the rukhsati when the bride moves. The groom's family then hosts the walima.
Vendors involved
The rukhsati usually happens at the baraat venue, so plan it into the booking:
- Venue: check the finish time. A rukhsati can take longer than you think, and some halls charge for overruns.
- Photographer and videographer: make sure they stay until the car leaves.
- Car: a decorated wedding car, and a clear route from the door.
- Florist or decorator: for the car and the exit.
Our questions to ask your venue sheet covers finish times. Browse by city from locations.
Common spellings
Rukhsati, rukhsathi, ruksati and rukhsat. Invitations sometimes print "Barat and Rukhsati" for the wedding-day event.
Planning tip. Tell the venue and your photographer the rukhsati time in writing, and build in a buffer. It is the part of the evening families least want to rush.
Questions
Yes. Some couples have the nikkah first, sometimes months earlier, and the rukhsati later, when the bride moves to her new home. Many UK couples hold both on the baraat day.
In some families, a relative holds the Qur'an over the bride's head as she leaves, as a blessing for her new life. It is a family custom rather than a religious requirement, and many families do not follow it.
They mark the same moment. Rukhsati is the term Muslim families use; vidaai is the Hindu term, and Sikh and Punjabi families often call it the doli.
Related terms: vidaai · nikkah · baraat · walima
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