Mehr is the groom's gift of money or property to the bride in a Muslim marriage, agreed before or at the nikkah. The BBC's guide to Muslim weddings describes it as "a payment made to the bride which is hers to keep and use as she wishes".
In Urdu it is written مہر, and often called haq mehr (حق مہر), "the right of mehr". Say it "MEH-her".
Which traditions use it
Mehr is part of Islamic marriage, so it applies at every Muslim wedding: Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi, Arab and beyond. Hindu and Sikh weddings do not have a mehr.
The BBC guide explains the reason behind it: "even if the girl has nothing, she becomes a bride with property of her own." It adds that if a divorce takes place for the usual reasons, the bride would normally be entitled to keep it.
When it happens
The amount is agreed between the families before the wedding, and confirmed at the nikkah, where it is usually written into the marriage contract. It can be given in full at the nikkah, or partly deferred to a later date agreed in the contract. The UK government's guide to family law in Bangladesh, for example, notes that mahr "may be payable immediately, upon demand, or deferred till the dissolution of the marriage". How it is split is agreed between the families and varies widely.
How much is a family decision, though the BBC guide notes that "The Prophet (pbuh) set the example of modest sums", and warns against enormous demands.
Vendors involved
None. Mehr is not a vendor cost and never passes through a wedding business. It is worth planning for, though:
- In your budget. Keep it as its own line, separate from the wedding spend, so it is not squeezed by venue or catering overruns. Our budget planner lets you set aside amounts by category.
- With your imam. Agree how the mehr will be written into the contract before the day.
- With jewellery. If the mehr is jewellery rather than money, it is often bought alongside the wedding jewellery, so keep the two clearly separate.
Find vendors for everything else by city from locations, or read our resources.
Common spellings
Mehr, mahr, meher, haq mehr and mahar. "Mahr" is closer to the Arabic; "mehr" and "haq mehr" are the usual Urdu forms in UK Pakistani families.
Questions
The bride. The BBC's guide to Muslim weddings describes the mahr as a payment to the bride that is hers to keep and use as she wishes. She is not obliged to spend it on the household.
There is no fixed amount. It is agreed between the two sides. The BBC guide notes that the Prophet set an example of modest sums, and many families today agree an amount that is meaningful but affordable.
No. Mehr is given by the groom to the bride. Dowry, or jahez, is goods given by the bride's family, a cultural custom in some South Asian families that is separate from Islamic requirements.
Related terms: nikkah · walima · rukhsati · valima vs reception
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